Musings...

Photography, music art and life blog.  Less of the life

Sex & Relationships

I read something today that struck a chord:

 

"I asked him what he liked about porn, and whether access to me or all the other women in the world (hotter ones, I even gave him) would be better, ideally.

His answer surprised me, it wasn’t about quality or quantity, but about availability. With me, (and he loved me very much, he clarified), he had to woo me, constantly. Sex was never a given, and this is a biological difference between men and women. He was trying, all the time to make me think of him sexually and to initiate sex and even my higher-than-average female libido couldn’t keep up with him. As loving and as open and assuring as I was towards him, he was still getting rejected by me in this way, often (and even more often if he would be honest about how frequently he wanted sex)."

People forget that within a relationship rejection is still a thing - you don't get rid of the idea of rejection when you are in a marriage or long term relationship - you now just become rejected by one person.  The idea of a committed relationship is that you are meant to have someone that you trust enough to either reject in a controlled and supportive way (or not) or talk openly about the feeling of being rejected that should then lead to being rejected in a better way (or not).  Rejection is a part of relationships.  How we deal with it or not  is the key, and that key will tell you whether you should be part of that relationship at all